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FEW LAUGHS Featuring / Targeting: Captain & Tennille |
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| Source: http://www.benningtonvalepress.com/2011/06/newly-single-hugh-hefner-dreads.html |
 Monday, June 20, 2011 Newly Single, Hugh Hefner Dreads Challenges of Dating Scene: “Where Does a Guy Like Me Find Beautiful Women?” By BC Bass Photo courtesy of Reuters - LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, 85, prepares to face an uncertain future of bachelorhood after being dumped at the altar by 25-year-old fiancee Crystal Harris last weekend. Although Harris claimed that she called off the engagement over “jitters” about living as a virtual sex prisoner behind the walls of a cloistered mansion -- in regimented servitude as part of a highly competitive harem -- friends say Harris had misgivings about Hefner’s alleged obsession with Daryl Dragon of the super-duo Captain and Tennille. - “This was going to be my wedding day, but life is full of surprises. After all is said & done, staying single is probably for the best,” Hefner posted on Twitter. He did not include a photo of his underpants. - According to sources inside the Playboy Mansion, a heartbroken Hefner immersed himself in romantic films such as “Sleepless in Seattle,” “50 First Dates,” “Last Tango in Paris,” “American Beauty,” “Citizen Kane” and “Runaway Bride,” forcing the mansion’s indentured Playmates to endure the screenings in an endless 72-hour loop. - “It was like a country song gone to extremes,” said a man named Klipspringer, a strange squatter who took up residence in the mansion two years ago after attending a party and never leaving. “Crystal took his love, took his dog, took his money and went to town.” - Klipspringer said that during the movie screenings, Hef made the girls tape stickers over their mouths that said “Runaway Bride -- Crystal Harris.” Then he had t-shirts printed up that said “Life’s a Bitch. Crystal Harris is a [expletive deleted].” - “He’s had me singing ‘Muskrat Love’ non-stop for days while he plays the piano, even though the song he plays is ‘Chopsticks.’ That’s why I’m wearing this dress. He keeps calling me Toni,” Klipspringer added. - But those closest to Hefner fear that beginning life again at 85 will be difficult for the unassuming and shy media magnate. - “It’s hard getting back into the dating scene, even with help,” said Hef’s pharmacist, pondering a half-empty bottle of blue pills. “I mean, where does he go to meet eligible girls? It’s not like he’s surrounded by countless numbers of beautiful, single women who’re willing to throw themselves at his feet. As a man, he needs to constantly question what differentiates him from the rest of the pack. Meeting women is rough. Then when you find the right girl, you never know if she will get to a point in the relationship where she feels comfortable enough to take off her clothes in front of you. It’s just a tragedy. I hope he can pull together and find love again. Preferably next week, when I refill his prescription.” - (c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody. - |
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| Source: National US Newspapers, published in 2010 / ILLUSTRATOR: Greg Evans |
This
comic series entitled 'LUANN', was discovered by TONI'S doggie-friends',
in Arizona .- 
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| Source: National US Newspapers, published in 2010 / ILLUSTRATOR: Jim Toomey |
This
comic series entitled 'SHERMAN'S LAGOON', was discovered by our friend
'DOTTIE', in N. Nevada.- and sent to us via US Mail . Thanks DOTTIE
!! 
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| Source: Entertainment Weekly, published in 1995 / ILLUSTRATOR: Danny Hellman |
| Source:
An Anonymous Blogger -
discovered
on YouTube.com, a Rocked-Up version of Captain & Tennille's "Love
Will Keep Us Together". However, Neil Sedaka (who wrote LWKUT)
may not approve of this band's (Nickelback)
removal of some original 'chords' & melody alterations to his
song. via a YouTube Video Link. / Feb. 2010 |
CLICK
HERE.......to view / listen to - a Rocked-Up version of Captain & Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together" - The anonymous blogger writes.. "One of my favorite rock covers ever is Canadian post-grunge band Nickelback's ((http://www.nickelback.com/index2.html)) rocked-up version of Captain & Tennille's 's bouncy classic "Love Will Keep Us Together." - Nickelback's Chad Kroeger gives it a slick, polished and contemporary edge that does the original justice, and the new rocked-up arrangement is faithful enough to the delightful classic to be worthy of several repeat playbacks. - I can imagine this track played as a first dance song at a rock and roll wedding reception, can't you?" |
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| Source: An Anonymous Blogger - A Sedaka-(esque)-Musical Arrangement of 'Love Will Keep Us Together' is debuted in a 1978 film entitled, 'SEXTETTE'. The tune is performed by MAE WEST (age - 84) & TIMOTHY DALTON - via a YouTube Video Link. / Feb. 2010 |
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- CLICK HERE, TO VIEW THE YouTube Clip of Mae West / Timothy Dalton performing 'LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER. Sextette is a 1978 Crown International Pictures comedy/ musical motion picture starring Mae West. Others in the cast include Timothy Dalton, Dom DeLuise, Tony Curtis, Ringo Starr, Keith Moon, George Hamilton, Alice Cooper and Walter Pidgeon. Read all about the film (critique, stars, trivia, etc. ) HERE....
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| Source: Greg Fox / Artist, illustrator, writer - A C&T Fan is uncovered, and apparently proud of it - cartoon. out of Northport, NY. / Sept. 2009 |
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CLICK HERE,
TO VIEW THE ENTIRE CARTOON STRIP, NOTE - When comic
strip opens in separate webpage, click on upper-right 'icon' to
enlarge comic size - for easier text reading. |
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| Source: jibjab.com - C&T audition for "American Musicians Can Tango', TV SHOW out of Iceland. / Sept. 2009 |
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| Source: TheSpoof.com - Susan Boyle and Adam Lambert Form Captain & Tennille Tribute Band / June. 2009 |
 TheSpoof.comhttp://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i54159 Susan Boyle and Adam Lambert Form Captain & Tennille Tribute Band Written by Zako Strle Susan Boyle and Adam Lambert, fresh off disappointing second place finishes on "Britain's Got Talent" and "American Idol", have combined forces to form a tribute band for the 1970s pop music group, Captain & Tennille. Although Captain & Tennille were already washed-up has-beens two years before Lambert was born, Lambert has fond memories of listening to their music as a child, along with other timeless hits such as "Fat Bottomed Girls", "Disco Duck" and Spinal Tap's rendition of "Big Bottom". There have even rumors that the lovable losers may be linked romantically, as they were seen holding hands while trading lines on Captain & Tennille love songs such as "Love Will Keep Us Together", "The Way I Want to Touch You", "Do That to Me One More Time", and "You Never Done It Like That". Grumpy and obnoxious talent judge, Simon Cowell, squelched rumors of a possible engagement, saying "It's not exactly a pop marriage made in heaven. She's old enough to be his mother and she left the studio in a fit of rage after Adam allegedly had a wardrobe malfunction with Susan's invisible lady friend's girdle." Relations between the duo have been cold recently as their agents issued separate press releases announcing that the tw o may break up their musical partnership because of a bitter dispute over who gets to sing lead vocal on the Captain & Tennille hit, "Muskrat Love". "Making nonsensical mouse gibberish noises on the backing vocal track is not something Ms. Boyle is willing to do, especially since there wasn't a dry eye in the studio after her rendition of 'Muskrat Love'", her agent announced in a prepared statement. Meanwhile, Adam Lambert, was quoted recently in the American press as saying in a voice reminiscent of Micky Mouse, "Namowtafnoemnrut". When played backwards at slow speed, that quote sounds like "Turn me off, fat woman." After acknowledging that a Boyle-Lambert Captain & Tennille Tribute Group could be his biggest financial boom since Clay Aiken, Cowell (who holds significant financial stakes in both singers) quipped, "It ain't over until the fat lady sings." - |
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| Source: Video, YouTube / Perry Como TV Special, late '70's, / March. 2009 |
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| Source: TIM CARMAN, Blogger / WASHINGTON CITY PAPER, March. 2009 |
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The
Cap’t and Tennille Wrap HAS to Be a Joke |
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| Source: Reno Gazette Journal, published in 2007 / ILLUSTRATOR: J.C. Duffy |
This
comic by 'Duffy' -discovered in her local newspaper - and sent to
us via US Mail by 'Dottie', a close friend of ours in Reno, NV
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| Source: Entertainment Weekly, published in 1995 / ILLUSTRATOR: Danny Hellman |
 Sent
to us from dedicated C&T fan, AUSTIN HAYES , from Calif.
10/2006. Austin writes..Dear Daryl and Toni, Sending you
both warm greetings from Rancho Mirage and also a welcome back to
the Coachella Valley too. It's the perfect time of year to once
again start enjoying this beautiful desert area. Thank goodness
it has finally cooled down! I scanned it and removed the article that was beside it. I hope you will consider posting it to your "Laughing At Ourselves" page on the website. I think the fans will get a kick out of seeing it. Kindest Regards, |
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| Source: YouTube.com, 08/2006 |
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Aired in March, 1977, on ABC Television. |
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| Source: YouTube.com, 08/2006 |
 www.YouTube.com
has a karaoke version of Love Will Keep Us Together from a duet that
we believe come pretty close to 'the real thing'. See if you agree.
Hopefully, Neil Sedaka won't ask that the video clip be removed, because
of royalty issues. |
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| Source: Zits, 3/2005 |
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The National
Cartoonists Society's Best Comic Strip of the Year -- two years
in a row! |
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| HI
.. C&T Fans and - others: Have any 'funny' stuff you've discovered in magazines, newspapers, etc. - which is suitable to add to this page? Hey, thanks. Write to: "Dear Captain & Tennille.." |
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